40 Things That Only Happen In Movies

Did you ever notice that certain things happen in the movies but unfortunately never happen in real life? These are some of these things.

  1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting, even when your visiting large corporate buildings or popular night clubs.
  2. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare, even if you only end up handing them a $1 bill.
  3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.
  4. Creepy music or satanic chanting, coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
  5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child or hot chick inside.
  6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps and start dancing along, almost as if in a Michael Jackson music video.
  7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
  8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
  9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving or being shot at.
  10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris even from the Eiffel Tower.
  11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day especially if their family have planned a party. (Also: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).
  12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a dramatic chase scene.
  13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear or lingerie.
  14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard…
  15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags and when those bags split open, only fruit will fall out.
  16. Cars never need fuel unless they’re involved in a high speed chase.
  17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
  18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
  19. Guns are like disposable razors or used condoms. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away, you will always find another one.
  20. All single women have a cat.
  21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
  22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
  23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade no matter what time of year.
  24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
  25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
  26. Prostitutes always have expensive clothes and nice apartments but never seam to have any pimps. They are also friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighborhood who don’t mind at all what (Who) the girl does for a living.
  27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium even when no flammable material seams to be present.
  28. It is not necessary to say “Hello” or “Goodbye” when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying “Hello? Hello?” repeatedly.
  29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once especially when the one man is Sylvester Stallone.
  30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly blue or grey tinged.
  31. Nerdy or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
  32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.
  33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
  34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
  35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club (or casino) at least once.
  36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
  37. Most musical instruments can be played without moving your fingers.
  38. In America Suburbs the girl that moves in next door will almost definitely do naughty things with one other person in the neighborhood.
  39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present, even people who aren’t liked and would never get invited to parties.
  40. If you are Samuel L. Jackson your will certainly call someone a “Motherfucker” during the course of the movie.

Come up with anything else we didn’t find? Post it in the comments!

Advertisements